3 Things I’ve Learned After 3 Years of Marriage

Three years ago, I married Tim! Currently, life feels like an accelerating carousel, but I am grateful my best friend is stuck on the same ride. I mean… we did wait in line for it.  Every year there seams to be a theme. Here is what I've observed so far:

YEAR 1 - The first year was not the hardest.

Tim and I loved our first year of marriage! We moved into our first home, took the same classes, and failed at cooking together. We learned everything about each other. We even had our first fight! We knew every moment couldn’t be perfect, but learned how we responded to life and each other.

The first year was not the hardest for us, but we know other couples who would profess a different experience. It’s different for everyone, regardless of that statistic. It could be your first year, third year, or tenth year. My observation with the first is just this: You may uncover things you forgot to talk about before marriage. You may run into too many changes immediately after marriage... or find out you were expecting too many changes from marriage. Engaged couples do need to prepare before marriage. At the same time, spouses must always be intentional.

YEAR 2 - We reached a new level of intimacy.

I was told by friends that waiting until marriage would doom my relationship if we were not sexually compatible. Both virgins, in our honeymoon suite, we were absolutely confused. Our first time together was special and interesting. It was super fun, but honestly it kind of hurt. During our second year of marriage, I can proudly say we didn’t need a head start… we became compatible. He is romantic, sweeps me off of my feet and knows every inch of me. This was the year we laid in bed and high five'd because we were so impressed that we figured it out. I constantly say… “it can’t get better than this”... and then it does!

I know it is difficult to wait, but I love that we were each other's first. We are accustomed to each other and feel deeply connected because of it.

YEAR 3 - I am tired, but rested with him

This last year was different in comparison to the previous ones. I won a startup competition, sold that company, graduated college, started a new job, experienced a company-wide layoff, started Jane West Events, and went on our first budget!

Right now, I WORK too much. STRESS a lot, yet still LAUGH plenty. We discovered a new way to be married. We share the workload in the house so we can equally stay exhausted, but honestly it’s been sweet. He matches socks with me...since they are all missing… and I find rest in these moments. We both work hard until the other one is finished. Never is someone resting without the other one. He makes me happy which results in quality resting.

Tim, Happy Third Year! I am sorry I never remember the actual date we were married on, but thanks for always reminding me! Siri… you are a disappointment. For now here are some of our wedding photos by @sanfordcreative !